... Around others. It's something she-- I always wanted, and why I think my first life went the way it did in the end.

[ people who saw what elijah did, who wanted to see what she did, who...

... ended up so far away, not a hand reaching out to anyone else. could anyone? after enoch had died, after carmen had begun to drown in her own guilt, could anyone have reached out? elijah's own had remained curled around her clipboard, her pen, and not a thought to it. had anyone thought to reach for her? she didn't see it if so, malkuth knows that.

her words continue, quiet in their pain. ]

I spent a lot of time alone before everyone else began to wake to their third life, actually. I had an Assistant who helped me fight and sort books, but I still felt lonely until the next Librarian woke up. Even if it wasn't... easy to connect, to reintroduce ourselves and find ways to pass the time when we weren't needed, it was still a relief to know he was there.

[ she remembers the grasping conversations, hands unable to stay idle, how until the library began to fill with life it was only a small comfort that yesod, netzach, and lastly hod had sat just above her. ]

I like to be around others. [ more decisive this time. ] But I'm fine if "others" is just a single person, like you.